Getting Down
February 24, 2010
Its hard not to get frustrated with myself, that how I’ve always been, I start off motivated like no one else and a few weeks into it I start to think twice about my goal and if i can even accomplish it or not. I should have planned it out better than I did I don’t know what I was thinking when i just bought the calender and the cd that came with it.
And yes I have the Rosetta Stone software but when did I think I was going to use it, in between classes, or before I go to school, or maybe when I’m supposed to be doing my homework. I hardly do my homework as it is if i were to try to do both it really wouldn’t get done. I’ve had a cloud hanging over me this quarter, this funk I cant get off of me it might be this depressing weather, but I’ve never blamed anything on the weather before.
I’ve never been one to blame my problems on something else before, perhaps I’m changing, but if that the case I’m not changing into anything I thought would. I’ve worked hard for everything I’ve ever had, never scared of putting in work even as a skinny short chicano kid with long hair. I learned very early in life that the world wasn’t going to take it easy on you just because you were under sized or unprepared.
Actually talking about it right now is reminding just how much I have changed, and in such a short time to. I mentioned before that I alway start to doubt myself, that true, but I still finish everything I start so there has to be a part of me that willing to fight against that resistance. That what I need to find again that fight, the fire that burned inside of me that helped me stand up in the face of failure and stare it down.
